Insecure Boyfriend: Warning Signs & How To Handle It

There are many similarities between an insecure man and a needy man. Much like an insecure man, a needy man needs other people to validate him. So he would often fall into the temptation of putting other people down to make himself feel good.

What Does ‘Connection Is Not Secure’ Mean?

One of the obvious signs of an insecure man – he plays this game when you don’t give him what he wants. The fact is, he tries to manipulate words and shifts the blame on you. He is testing your devotion but is actually craving for love and validation. He is likely to say things like he will break up with you and expects you to beg him to stay. His lies are mostly intentional to either make himself look more successful, special, or talented than he really is or due to fear of rejection.

These kinds of behaviors can be extremely toxic and damaging, especially in a trusting and intimate relationship. For a person who’s insecure with who they are, there’s no telling exactly how that might manifest. However, it’s also a two-fold thing, because once the relationship is a little bit more established, he’s likely to use you as an emotional crutch. Positive comments every day will help them with feeling secure. He wants to see you every day and gets upset if you have other responsibilities that take you away from him. He has a way of making you feel guilty if you need to work, run errands, or meet a friend and can’t go out with him.

Signs You’re Dating an Insecure Man (And What To Do About It)

Yet if you go on a date that is family friendly, where he’s likely to encounter kids, you’ll see him open up. If he had a great childhood, he still enjoys opening up by telling you about his family and favorite memories. Either way, you get a closer glimpse into his world and he starts to warm up to you. You can never go wrong asking a Cancer man about his family.

From then on he/she begins to reveal their true colors… that being, their love avoidance and emotionally unavailability. Your fantasies begin to collapse, and as hard as you try to get back what you “thought” you had in the beginning, you cannot change who a person is. The primary reason being, that a person with love avoidance is the least likely to meet your relationship needs for intimacy, closeness, emotional availability, and security. He’s doesn’t get free rights to your phone, your email, and your Facebook when he wants. If you give him access to these things, not only do you feed his insecurity, you don’t help him to build the critical skills of trust and self-assurance.

Disagreeing with an insecure person can be an almost impossible thing. Once you do start a relationship with him, he’s liable to become very codependent, and desire you to do the same. So many guys are too self-involved to put forth the effort necessary for a healthy, dynamic, and balanced relationship.

At first, you thought that him asking you, “do you love me? It’s like he’s just waiting for you to tell him so that he’ll feel some validation. However, even when you say it to him, it’s not enough. This is because he’s insecure and trying to manipulate you. He wants you to get on your knees and beg for him to stay and that’s all because of his weak ego.

He generally suffers from low self-esteem, which incidentally is the driving force behind many of his insecure behaviors. And if your boyfriend or husband with does most, or all, of the following things, he’s probably one them (sorry!). But then things head south, and his sweet attentiveness turns to overwhelming obsession. It no longer feels like he treasures and cherishes you; it feels like overbearing possessiveness. It takes all your energy to assure your man that you love him, and it’s sucking the life out of you.

He also really doesn’t need his friends to know of his insecurities. Guys feel very emasculated when their friends know their weaknesses. Sometimes you just need to tell him that he has nothing to worry about.

It’s important to understand where his insecurity is coming from. Dawn Marie is an author and blogger at Because I Said So and Babble. As a single mom, she juggles six kids, work and laundry with the help of God, family, friends and wine, though not necessarily in that order. As challenging as this may feel, you’re not stuck in this period, and we are here to help.

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