Romantic Relationships Involving People With BPD

Eventually I moved out when I said I would and still had contact with my love. I would still see her on occasion and was being a “friend”, though I would lose it from time to time. Well, months later she showed up at a training class for another temp job I got her many months back and we started becoming intimate again and she asked if I wanted to be with her. Of course I did, I never stopped wanting to be with her.

Signs you are dating someone with BPD

She’s just not turned on by you anymore. So you need to work on being a man that women desire. You’re in the type of situation where you’ll only see improvement when SHE starts trying to hug/touch you. Ty for your much needed blog on this subject. Ive been no contact by choice since the end of June. Borderline has tried to contact me several times.

So this current experience with my now ex -boyfriend is totally opposite, and it’s been too much loss to deal with emotionally combined with losing my husband. I’m having serious emotional episodes that seem even worse than when I lost my husband. We communicated a few minutes the other day, but I don’t know if that helps or just re-ignites grief within me.

They’ll actuallystop affecting you,and you can truly poor out your love to your BPD partner who so badly needs it. When you eventually reach that level where you’re genuinely confident in yourself, you simply won’t allow yourself to be bothered by BPD behaviors and ‘craziness’. I had a client email me about how he would just ignore and be silent on the couch when his BPD girlfriend would yell at him.

This gives the doctor a chance to make quick medication changes that may help your partner avoid being hospitalized. And you want to go back even when you know it’s bad for you because you are addicted, but you think it’s love. Without extensive therapy, there is little to no chance of significant improvements in these toxic behaviors and defense strategies they have developed. Someone with healthy boundaries would not tolerate the borderline’s behavior, and so the borderline avoid those.

Dating when you have borderline personality disorder: ‘I get obsessed really quickly’

I am in a situation where i have spoke to my parents and my relatives about our relationship they are happy about it and accepted our relationship. Now i am in USA came here a year back. On the first day she asked me when i am going to marry her i said lets speak to her parents and start things for the wedding. Then after few days she said that she is not interested in marrying me and said that she got engaged to some one else. After some time she itself contacted me and said she called off the engagement. Again after that she started saying that she is not interested in marrying me. i dont know what to do left everything behind and came here for her now i am in so much confusion.

I love her so much that i cant giveup on her. Social media and mutual friends said they can’t get in touch with him… I don’t know if there was any connection there to my letter or not? I’m worried he is in a depression or doing drugs again, but his mother wouldn’t even respond to me when I reached out a week ago to her. To just ask if he was ok… They’re hiding something.

At least not behavior-wise because their negative behavior is deep-rooted and has no incentive to change. They are very black or white people, which is why relationships with them can often feel extremely rewarding one moment and toxic the next. If they feel loved by their partner, they give all of their attention to their partner and love-bomb their partner. If they feel threatened, they pick a quarrel with their partner and defend themselves. And if they feel disinterested, they ghost and/or coldly pull away. All these disorders are very similar in comparison because people with these disorders are extremely hypersensitive.

Hi, Im a BPD woman and I can tell you why we pull away when your caring and attentive….. Im very affectionate and caring and loving but the minute you give me the same in return or too much of it I get overwhelmed. I dont like being alone but im so used to having my space…I hope things work out for you. The problem is that like myself many women do not know they suffer from bpd and have been misdiagnosed for years so can’t possible begin to understand the condition themselves. I have just ended a four year relationship again . The site highlights the condition and raises awareness which can only ever be a good thing.

Anyway it’s been 7 mos since we last spoke, I’ve shut down my main method of contacting her so I could save myself from myself, and, most recently, unfriended her on facebook. While I didn’t go on often, I did log on recently and the very first update on my timeline was one of hers….it was a bit much and caused me to spiral mentally to a really really bad place . By no contact, I simply just take care of my own needs.

And add another person who is emotionally instable, you’ll have the recipe for disaster and a lot of suffering. Dude you broke up with her so why are you trying to entertain her and be her friend? Imagine if she broke up with you and then asked you to be just friends?

It was my fault, I just couldn’t find my partner attractive sexually anymore. So when she couldn’t handle the humiliation of my constant denial, she asked me to leave. She has made me the bad guy for her life and I know she’ll never come back and it’s probably best that she doesn’t, as she sees no issues with her behavior. What I need is to know how to heal and move on.

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